With the beginning of the new year, like most people I find myself making big plans about how it will look different than the last. I will work out more, spend more time studying the Bible, and do all of those crafty things that have been sitting in my closet since freshman year of high school. But the same thing always happens, my grand plans last for about a week and then all of the sudden I find myself repeating the year before. I get frustrated, annoyed and even curse myself for being so lazy. But alas I have set myself up for failure.
It is so easy to say, "I am going to work out every day of the week for the whole semester," but I have erased the cost from the equation. Running in itself is probably one of my least favorite things to do. I love the feeling of accomplishment afterwards, and even the perspiration running down my neck, but the act of running is the worst. People would always tell me that "it would get easier" and so as I would run I would expect it to "get easier" and for the pain to go away. What they must have forgotten to say was that it gets easier OVER TIME. So you can imagine the disappointment that I felt toward myself when I would run and things did not get easier, but worse and more painful. Because I had given myself too high of an expectation, I was "setting myself up for failure." I am not saying running has not gotten easier, but that to say that I will be an Olympic runner on the first day, or even within the first week of running is an impossible expectation of myself.
As time has passed I have learned that I cant expect to be where I want to be on my first day. Now, when I run I still feel the pain, but I allow myself to run through it and I have given up on the belief that it will all go away. I know what you are thinking, "Maggie, what is the point here?"
Well, I think that this idea of running can also apply to our spiritual lives. How many times do we think or say, "I want to live my whole life for the Lord?" Obviously this is very good and something that we need to strive for, but when we are always looking at our "whole lives" we forget about "today." We forget about hours, moments, and seconds. We make these huge goals for ourselves to live for God, but get angry at ourselves when we screw up because we have taken the cost out of the equation. We live in a fallen world and it is hard to live our lives for our Father in heaven, but what if we went moment to moment, instead of year to year? What would it look like if we got up in the morning and said, "I want to live this moment for you Lord, how do I do that?" instead of, "Lord I am living the rest of my life for you."
I think that we would have more grace for ourselves because we would see more progress. we miss so much of our own progress today when we are always looking at tomorrow.
So yeah that's about all I have for now... Later
