You Belong

The rain was falling outside and it was the end of the week. Today would be a comfortable day. I dressed in my boot cut jeans and university hoody. Being a bit adventurous this particular morning, I decided to scope out a coffee shop that I had heard particularly good things about. As I looked at this coffee shop on the internet I realized that it was an exceptionally cool place; exposed brick, coffee roasting, and art on the walls. I quickly started to feel self conscious about my outfit. I actually contemplated not perusing the endeavor because of what I was wearing, but the adventurous juices inside of me were too strong. As I walked through the door of the local roasters, I instantly felt out of place and wanted to prove that I belonged there. I saw skinny jeans and flannel shirts. I wanted to yell out, "this is just my comfy wear, you should see my closet... I promise I belong here!" I frantically began to search for something’s that would speak to the other people in the small coffee house that I belonged, and my nose ring became my saving grace.

It would be easy in this instance to think that the people hanging out in the coffee shop were the reasons for my insecurity, but it really had nothing to do with them. The problem was that I found my identity in the way that I presented myself and what I wore. Just like all of my brothers and sisters, I have a huge innate desire to belong, and I believed that I belonged there, but I had to prove it. The skinny jeans, flannel shirts, and nose rings are all things that I not only love and consider part of my style, but are not bad in themselves. The issue was that those things had become the reason that I was worth getting to know. The way that I presented myself became my qualification for belonging. I became my owe judge, and the outcome did not look good. I could feel my demeanor change. I started to rein myself in and tried not to bring attention to myself. I was the sore thumb, and elephant in the room.

When we disqualify ourselves of the things that we were created for, we become illegitimate child and begin to shut down. We are no longer able to completely be ourselves because who we are is not good enough. We rein ourselves in because not only do we believe the lie of our own illegitimacy, but we also believe that everyone else does too. 

But there is good news folks! Jesus looks at us and says, "you are incredible." He not only sees our deepest desires, but also our funny affections for ironic outfits. He loves it when we laugh about double rainbows across the sky, parody music videos, and camels on hump day. When we find belonging as a legitimate child of God, we become free to be ourselves. The problem is not that we are illegitimate; it's that we believe that we are illegitimate.

And this is the age old problem. Ever since the beginning of time, satan has lied to us about who we are; it's the only power he has on us. In Genesis when he told Eve that she would be like God if she ate the apple, he was implying that she was not already like God; made in His image, the Imago Dei (Genesis 1:26-27, 2:15-17, 3:1-7). While there was some truth to the things that satan said, he twisted God's words so that both Eve and Adam would believe that they were illegitimate children. We also see satan doing this with Jesus in the desert. All three things that satan challenged Jesus about already belonged to Jesus (Matthew 4:1-11). He kept challenging Jesus with, "if you are the Son of God, then..." Satan was challenging the legitimacy of Jesus' sonship. But because Jesus was/is sure of His belonging (as Son of God/God), He was able to not only combat the enemies lies, but also be completely free in Himself and the fullness of Himself.

Therefore, legitimate child of God, allow yourself to shine and to be the fullness of yourself. You are cool, funny, and fun to be around! Be confident that the things that you do, the clothing that you wear, and the songs that you sing do not define you or qualify you for belonging. Your desires, thoughts, and understandings of God are important. Brothers and sisters, we need you! Be completely yourself, because you are human... The Imago Dei.

Today

With the beginning of the new year, like most people I find myself making big plans about how it will look different than the last. I will work out more, spend more time studying the Bible, and do all of those crafty things that have been sitting in my closet since freshman year of high school. But the same thing always happens, my grand plans last for about a week and then all of the sudden I find myself repeating the year before. I get frustrated, annoyed and even curse myself for being so lazy. But alas I have set myself up for failure.

It is so easy to say, "I am going to work out every day of the week for the whole semester," but I have erased the cost from the equation. Running in itself is probably one of my least favorite things to do. I love the feeling of accomplishment afterwards, and even the perspiration running down my neck, but the act of running is the worst. People would always tell me that "it would get easier" and so as I would run I would expect it to "get easier" and for the pain to go away. What they must have forgotten to say was that it gets easier OVER TIME. So you can imagine the disappointment that I felt toward myself when I would run and things did not get easier, but worse and more painful. Because I had given myself too high of an expectation, I was "setting myself up for failure." I am not saying running has not gotten easier, but that to say that I will be an Olympic runner on the first day, or even within the first week of running is an impossible expectation of myself.

As time has passed I have learned that I cant expect to be where I want to be on my first day. Now, when I run I still feel the pain, but I allow myself to run through it and I have given up on the belief that it will all go away. I know what you are thinking, "Maggie, what is the point here?"

Well, I think that this idea of running can also apply to our spiritual lives. How many times do we think or say, "I want to live my whole life for the Lord?" Obviously this is very good and something that we need to strive for, but when we are always looking at our "whole lives" we forget about "today." We forget about hours, moments, and seconds. We make these huge goals for ourselves to live for God, but get angry at ourselves when we screw up because we have taken the cost out of the equation. We live in a fallen world and it is hard to live our lives for our Father in heaven, but what if we went moment to moment, instead of year to year? What would it look like if we got up in the morning and said, "I want to live this moment for you Lord, how do I do that?" instead of, "Lord I am living the rest of my life for you."

I think that we would have more grace for ourselves because we would see more progress. we miss so much of our own progress today when we are always looking at tomorrow.

So yeah that's about all I have for now... Later

Beginings

Hey there everyone,
So the truth is that I have been wanting to start a blog for a very long time, but just have not gotten around to it.. until now.
As the title of this post implies, this is the begining of not only many blogs, but also an incredible summer. This summer I will be going to a leadership training school and then eventually, Southeast Asia. I am in great expectation of what the Lord is going to do, and how He is going to work. well thats about all that I got at this point!
Till next time, Maggie